Golden
by Hitachiin Shibo
Summary: It was a bitter sweet temptation and it was driving him insane... HikaxKao More chapters to come! rated M for those to come
1. Temptation

Hey I'm back! Aren't you excited?! [no... well fine then, meanieface!] This is something new I wanted to try, I got sick of fluff and sex so I figured I'd write some angst for these two. So viola!

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Ouran. If I did... honestly I wouldn't know what to do with it.

Oh! And by the way, I never actually say which of the twins' POV's this is in. So guess! have fun :D

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_**Temptation**_

Golden eyes, the most luscious amber shade, one of molten gold, where emotions simmer close to the surface and the key to thoughts revealed only for me gaze into mine and I feel the burning sensation fill my body once more. It washes through my veins and seeps into my bones, scalding everything in a hungry vicious way before cold grey disgust follows, sliding sickly after its heat, covering everything pleasant about the sensation. My stomach drops and it feels like acid burns within, not the citrus burn, but the nitrogenous one to follow. My heart skips three beats, slams to a halt and then picks up speed. The same way I feel every time he looks straight into my eyes.

I wonder what he must see in these eyes of mine. They may reflect his mirror image, hold the same burning qualities, the gold lolling and rolling in the same delicious manner that his have the tendency to do, but does he see the difference? I do wonder if he sees what lies beneath them, waiting, just lazing about, hoping that he'll find it one day and be just as disgusted with me as I am with myself. Is it the truth he will find in the depths of molten liquid? Corruption. That is what I feel my eyes must contain, as I must have been horrible corrupted to see in his eyes what I do. And I see one thing always: Temptation.

I'm so sweetly tempted, and it's this temptation that has been driving me to the edge, closer and closer to that impending ledge of near insanity everyday. It hurts. It's as rough and cruel as any physical pain but only worse as it taunts me even in my sleeps, turning my dreams into visions of erotica that delight me, until I realize their nature and it's turned into torture. I have never wanted like this. He is my constant temptation, and it's beginning to destroy me.

---

We are close now and we stage whisper intimate words to one another. All I can think is that to go through one more day of this will spell my death. Girls around us scream in glee at the act we perform for them. And here I am, wishing it didn't have to be an act, that it wasn't a show. Wishing we could perform in a more private setting and the touches and words would be real. But that's just asking far too much.

---

To say he was beautiful would be a full blown travesty. He was god's gift to man; god's punishment to me. And when he slept he was even more gorgeous. With light from the window scattered across his sleeping form it was nearly impossible to resist the thoughts swirling in my mind.

He gradually pulled me deeper and deeper into the abyss without even noticing it. He could sleep contentedly while I mentally beat myself to death if he liked. I wouldn't want to disturb him. He deserved his rest. He wasn't a disgusting person like I was. It didn't matter whether I was asleep or not. I was being punished either way. But it wasn't like I could leave his side either way.

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Temptation. That's what his eyes hold for me. But it wasn't just his eyes that brought sickly sweet temptation to me. He'd change, right there in front of me, as neither of us had even been shy about it and I could see his breathtaking body exposed before me. All hollow dips and smooth muscle, wrapped in glowing pale alabaster skin. It was so tempting to touch. To feel. To revel in his presence. God, just to know what it would be like to breath him in, to have his body flush against mine, to hear the delicious sounds I'm certain would spill out of his mouth.

Not to mention what he would taste like. His mouth, I can just imagine it'd be delicious. And the taste of his skin the the throws of something that should never happen. I shudder at the thought. And other parts of his anatomy. I hum to keep in the noise drawn forth from my throat. He's sending me a questioning look with the beautiful golden eyes that send me to hell.

Apparently that's where I am to live from now on.

Deep within the depths of golden hell.

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One chapter down. More to go.

As to the other stories I have yet to complete... don't yell. I'll get back to "From Here On Out..." I just lost my bounce, it shall return.

So, who was it?

Reviews make me write faster [and better] and post more.


	2. Fleeting

Gah! I'm soooo sorry, I had this done like five days ago... but I literally snapped my wireless internet card in half... So, yeah this chapter makes it obvious who's POV these chapters are in. anyway. As to reviewers, thank you quite much. Stylistically it's going to change a bit from here on out, so to those of you who were worried about dragging, don't. :)

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_**Fleeting **_

His eyes met mine once more and the force of the emotion he was trying to hide and smother within them nearly sent a shiver down my spine. He had beautiful eyes. Beautiful golden eyes. They always openly displayed his emotions to me, and I hated it when he tried to hide things. He was trying so hard lately to hide things from me.

I'm sure he read the sad expression in my eyes because now his was one of sympathy and apology. But he'd only look at me shortly recently. Every glance was fleeting. I hated it more than anything. He was holding onto something so closely that he could barely look at me anymore.

I'm getting sick now. My stomach rolls angrily in worry and grief. It flicks from side to side rocking like a storm is raging inside of it. My eyes water and clench back the urge to cry right here in the middle of class. He sends me a glance eyes widening in shock and worry at my current state. I send him back a look of pain and sorrow. His eyes fill with guilt and he knows this pain is his fault. He knows that by hiding from me he's making me sick and leaving me hurting. He looks away and I can see him bite his lip. His way of fighting back tears.

If hiding what he thinks he's done is hurting us both so bad… why can't he just tell me?

---

A gentle voice and touch, we whisper for those all around us to hear. He pulls me closer, plays a line. To them he's looking straight into my eyes; to me he's looking anywhere but. His eyes shift from my forehead, to my cheek, my nose, my hair. Nearly imperceptible shifts, but of course I'll notice how hard he struggles.

I get a fleeting look into his eyes, as he accidentally brushes them over mine and gets caught for a moment. Heat. Pain. Disgust. The last hurts to see. The first is unexplainable. Then they're gone, he finishes his line and the girls around us scream. All I need is just a moment. Just a second for him to explain what's going on. That's all I'm asking for. I just want him to be back to me again, this distance in his touches and his words is driving me to insanity. I just want my brother back. Apparently that is far too much to ask for.

---

We've always slept together since… always; since the night he woke up and saw me in the middle of a nightmare he'd slept with his arms around me. And I was glad he did. I felt safer nowhere else besides wrapped up in the arms of someone who truly understood me and cared about me.

There was not a person I trusted more than him. Especially to watch over me in my sleep. But recently, his arms wound less tightly. And when I woke up they were gone. He was facing away from me, towards the wall, instead of having his arms wrapped around me, chin resting on the top of my head, making me feel safe and secure. Had he stopped caring…?

---

Fleeting. That's all everything had been recently. I enjoyed feeling my brother's love for me, through his adoring glances and light touches. But now every look was fleeting, I barely got to peer into his enrapturing golden eyes before he flung his gaze elsewhere. His touches were like lies whispered across my skin. He didn't mean anything in them. The affection and happiness that normally filled his movement was gone and they were distant and pained. Did he hate me so much he couldn't stand to look at me or touch me?

Hopefully this awful feeling boiling in my stomach and this phase he was going through was just as fleeting as the glances he gave. It really was starting to make me sick, I needed him to be here for me, because if he wasn't who was?

No one who could understand me. And I can't be alone.

I don't know how to be anymore…

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I hope you enjoyed? Tell me what you think! Reviews make me write faster [and better!] for realz this time :)


	3. Unadulterated

I had writers block. Sorry.

I hope you enjoy this, although I doubt it's worth the wait.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Ouran. Huzzah.

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_**Unadulterated **_

He looked at me with clouded half lidded golden eyes that had grown a shade darker with the uncontained unadulterated lust that filled his gaze. His body moved slowly, confidently, and gracefully towards me in even strides. When he was less then a foot away he stopped and looked me up and down in a ferocious and painfully slow way, to the point it felt he could suck my soul out with his gaze. Then his arms reached towards me, controlled, nearly languid and ran up my arms to wrap around my neck. He pulled his body closer to mine set it flush before leaning his head to my shoulder and turning it so his breath ghosted across my ear and I held back a shiver.

In the most sensuous voice I've heard, low and husky he whispered–all the while entangling his hands into my hair and forcing me to hold back a low hum as his hands moved tantalizingly through my messy locks– "Hikaru…" He paused here and moved closer, wrapping himself tighter into me, his hips now pressing against mine, his heart beating swiftly against my chest causing an irregular rhythm within my own, his lips now ghosting the shell of my ear, "I want you."

His words were so drawn out I shivered almost harshly against him before moving my arms to wrap fiercely around him, pulling him tighter, closer, needing to feel him securely against my body, needing to feel him touching me everywhere. He pulled his head from my shoulder and looked at me with those unseeing golden eyes that lolled and rolled in lust. His lips, pink, light, begging for my touch drew me in and I dropped a light kiss on them. Our lips barely touched but we remained like that for what seemed ever; where his breathing began and mine ended I wasn't sure.

I pulled away and then smashed my lips down upon his, he bowed, willingly, against my force and his lips moved against mine before I ran a quick tongue over his lips which were so sweet, and he opened his mouth to allow me entrance.

Then we were falling backwards and I was over him, in between his legs, on a black sheeted bed. His hands were swiftly removing my shirt and stroking feverish skin as it was revealed. I leaned down to place my lips at his neck teasing, biting, sucking until I found his most sensitive spot and as I took a strong suck he moaned and arched up into me. The sound sending a jolt of fire and lightning straight to my already tight stomach.

"Kaoru," I groaned out, hating and loving the fire filling my veins. Then the name I'd uttered reached my ears and I stopped. Backing away to look once more down at the body revealed to me, the body that matched mine nearly perfectly, I nearly shouted.

"No, no, no, no…" the words poured out of my mouth faster than I could recognize and I was backing up and falling off the bed, tumbling to the floor, shaking, moving backwards, away, still the words shooting out of my mouth. And he knelt up on the bed, looking down at me wounded.

"Hikaru," He said crawling down after me, literally crawling up to me where I was pushed flush against the wall. I was breathing hard, each breath painful and filling me with a reminder of my hatred of self. "Hi-ka-ru." He pronounced each syllable distinctly. The sound bounced off the walls, and surrounded me. "Why? Why are you afraid to touch me?" He whispered like sin.

I shivered harshly at his voice. "It's wrong… It's wrong Kao. We're… we're brothers." I explained away, wishing he'd only leave me alone.

"But that doesn't mean we can't… especially here…" He said leaning in from where he knelt before me, one hand resting on my knee, and the other stroking the side of my face slowly now.

"No! I won't give in to temptation, I won't; I won't; I won't." I clenched my eyes shut against him and turned my face away. I felt his hand, stroking my face gently, and his breath, now too close to my skin, and his lips as they pressed to mine.

I awoke then, nearly whimpering with my self loathing. And all I knew was that I hated my self, in the most unadulterated form of hate I'd ever experienced. It burned through my lungs and burned over my skin and through my mind and it left a trail of black despair and disgust, sinking in every where.

I'm sure I would have fallen into the black abyss that seemed to be ready to swallow me whole but I heard a low whining noise besides me. Immediately I knew it to be Kaoru. I could feel that he was laying up, shivering as the whimpers escaped his lips.

Instantly I was in twin mode and my heart bled for him, and I wanted to whimper, if only because he was in pain, and I could feel his pain falling into me. I wanted to sit up in bed wrap my arms around him, and let him cry to me about what was hurting him. To tell him it was okay. He'd be alright. I wanted to be comforting and brotherly, but I couldn't.

It killed me, but I couldn't hold him when I wanted to be _holding_ him. I was an awful brother. I love him. I really do. It's all encompassing and it's always been that way. He has always been the other half of my soul, someone created just for me to have, so I would never be alone, so I'd always be understood. But now I wanted him too. How selfish could I possibly be? And as I breathed in deeply I rolled away to face the wall, hate filling every single crevice of my body, flowing through my heart, rolling in my veins, and I stayed awake all night listening to the whimpers and sobs of my beloved brother, and feeling the bed tremble as his body did.

When he finally fell into an exhausted sleep, I remained awake, wondering what I could do to fix this...

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Well, do tell me what you think.

I feel like I'm going to go back and tweak this later. I'm not very satisfied with it.

Review, pretty please. [btw, I love my reviewers I have currently. You guys are WONDERFUL and the reason I continued.]


	4. Losing

I'm finally back with this one. Sorry, but my muse was gone. Finally today I decided, I Will Write This Chapter. And I made a deep mood playlist and I wrote it.

I hope you like it and I'm really REALLY sorry It took so long. Not sure if it was worth the wait, but I hope so.

DISCLAIM: I don't own Ouran.

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_**Losing**_

"Hey, Hikaru, what's wrong with Kaoru?" It was the millionth time I'd been asked the question. One of the few times were I was called by name. I was going to lose my mind.

I shrugged and slid a slow glance in his direction before returning my eyes to Haruhi. "I've got no idea."

"Hmm…" She said eyeing Kaoru with concern. "He's been down all day. Are you two fighting?" She looked back to me now, the look on her face reading that she would give me a firm talking to if Kaoru's bad mood was my fault.

I shook my head slowly, returning my gaze to his form once more. He sat entertaining girls like he was happy. At least to them he looked happy an entertained. I could see the dark circles under his eyes even from here and how his skin was paler than usual from having not slept.

Every bone in his body bled exhaustion, and I was in the mind to tell him to go home and rest, but I knew that would lead to him assuring me he was alright when I couldn't supply a reason why he looked so bad.

I turned to Haruhi, focusing more on her now so I'd stop looking back to Kaoru because it hurt my chest to look and see him hurting so badly. His pain rang across my ribs and through my veins, a sickening feeling only equitable to imagining getting a paper cut on the surface of your eye or chewing aluminum. Something distinctly uncomfortable, and painful.

"We aren't fighting. This isn't my fault." I cringed immediately afterwards. It might be, seeing as I have no idea what's wrong with him. Haruhi saw my cringe.

"Hikaru…" Her voice was impatient with me.

"I don't know what's wrong with him! I wish I did." I said almost angrily to her, though she made no reaction to my tiny explosion. I threw my gaze at Kaoru just in time to watch him try to stand and sit back down slowly. My heart flew into overdrive.

I walked away from Haruhi, leaving her with a questioning look on her face. I moved quickly across the room to where Kaoru sat a strained, though only I would be able to tell, smile on his face. I put a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to me a pain I'd never expected and never wanted to see ever again sitting in his eyes. His pain hit me in the chest and my fingers tightened.

"Are you okay Kaoru?" I asked lightly, in no part for the show we normally put on for the girls.

His eyes steeled to me. "Suddenly you care?" He asked lowly and smooth, although entirely cruelly. He looked so angry, and so hurt. His eyes burned molten and sank coldly at the same time.

I didn't know how to respond. Air left my throat and my eyes stung. Why was he so upset with me? Why would he think I didn't care about him?

He removed my hand from his shoulder slowly and excused himself before leaving the room, trying walking like nothing was wrong, like he was about to go do something important but frivolous. But I could see it. The energy pulsing through his body that made him want to run, and I could see him restraining it in a quick jerky movement acting as if he were brushing dust off his jacket.

I turned and walked after him, afraid that once the doors closed behind him he would sprint away. I didn't bother excusing myself, or guarding the appearance of how I left. They could think what they would about the situation. Honestly I was too distraught to think about it.

I caught Kaoru leaning up against the wall outside of music room three, his eyes closed and his head tilted upwards. He looked worn out, defeated. I approached him slowly before stopping directly in front of him. He would have to have know it was me. Everything about us was the same, including the sound of our footsteps in an empty hall. His body tensed and it hurt to think he didn't even want to be near me.

"Kaoru… what's wrong?" I asked softly, a hand fluttering slowly upwards to grab his hand before stopping, and falling back lifelessly.

His voice was raw. "Am I that disgusting?" He asked lowly and my eyes widening. His voice began to rise in volume. "Am I that awful? Have I done something terrible? Am I so repulsive to you that you can't even touch me anymore?!" He was panting and angry, his eyes glistening with anger and barely contained tears. He whispered out, almost in a whimper, "Do you hate me now?"

"No! No! No! No!" I shook my head to reiterate the point again. His outburst was completely unexpected. He'd completely misunderstood me distancing myself from him. He must have really been hurting to explode like this.

He grabbed on to my jacket and buried his head in my shoulder, tears bursting from the seam of his closed eyes. "I thought…" He choked on a sob. "I thought you ha-hated me." He let out. The sobs racked his body, until eventually his knees gave out. Apparently last night wasn't the only night he hadn't slept.

His head was in my chest and my arms were around his shoulders as he cried. "You… you've been so distant." He looked at me, golden eyes surrounded by red, and desperate. "Why…?" His body shook harshly as he forced down a sob.

I looked at him and I knew he could read the pain in the back of my eyes, because I would have been able to see it in his. "I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry." I held him tighter. "I don't hate you." I said clearly. I whispered after, "I don't, I couldn't hate you."

He grabbed my shirt tighter. "I…" He stopped and looked to the side, insecure and so incredibly beautiful. His face flushed from crying, his lips trembling, and his downcast eyes. He was so beautiful. And I wanted to hurt myself for thinking of him in any manner other than a brotherly one when he was hurting like this.

He began again, voice low, nearly inaudible, if I hadn't already trained myself to hear his voice always. "I… I need you. I can't stand it when you won't talk to me. I can't be without you. I feel like I'm losing you." My heart should've have exploded by now with the rate it was punching at. And I wasn't sure how it could stick in my throat and pump at a pre-heart attack speed but it was. My eyes glazed over, and I buried my head in his shoulder.

"Oh god, I need you too." Tears rolled out of my eyes onto his jacket. "I'm so sorry. I'll never do that to you ever again." He nodded. And we stayed like that for awhile, holding onto each other on the floor in front of the third music room, before getting up and moving back into the room much to the pleasure of many ladies.

But I couldn't help thinking I was losing my grip on all of this…

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Did you like it? REVIEW. I think I know what I'm doing for the next chapter, so ya know, maybe faster.

Who knows. It's Coming though, Be guaranteed. VERY IMPORTANT -PS. Do you think this story will end happily? Sadly? Tell me why in a review!


	5. Torture

Hey! New chapter. I really hope you enjoy it.

Sorry for makin you wait so long. I could say my life is a mess and I'm struggling with inspiration on this story. [I can't decide, happy or sad ending and that makes it hard] but excuses are lame, ne?

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC, duh.

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**Torture**

He mumbled curses under his breath as he fumbled with his tie, loosening it to tear it off and try for the seventh time to retie it. I stared at him from my comfy position on the edge of the bed with slight concern. His beautiful golden eyes – and to those who said gold was a color of corruption, they had not seen his eyes – were lined in a pale purple-black, sleep obviously stolen from them. His form articulated an exhaustion I had not seen before. It was like he breathed exhaustion in and it chose to settle in his bones, each breath leaving him more wary. "Damnit…" He mumbled to himself, his face contorted in frustration, his fingers moving slowly instead of with the nimble grace all his gestures usually contained.

"You're going to wrinkle it…," I noted to him, reaching down to grab my socks and slide them on. I was ready except for my shoes which were downstairs by the door. I stood and stretched my arms. Hikaru was in disarray. He hadn't bothered to touch his hair yet, so it was a mess of tangled locks, his shirt wasn't tucked in, he was still tieless as he continued to fumble with the knot, frustration clearly visible in his frame now, and he had yet to put his jacket or socks on. I grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him on to the bed. He fell backwards with little resistance. I crawled over him and he the look on his face surprised me. He looked entirely terrified. He closed his eyes tightly and reopened them. When he saw me looking down at him, a question mark plainly evident in my features he seemed to sigh in relief. I curled up into his chest and he wrapped his arms loosely around me.

"You're a mess." I said simply into his shirt. I felt him sigh again.

"Yeah." He responded on an exhale.

"Come on, we'll be late if we don't get you ready soon." I sat up now, besides him where he still lay on the bed.

"I don't think I'm going to go." He answered, throwing one arm over his eyes as if the light filtering in the window next to the bed was starting to slowly burn. Normally I would have refuted this, as it was important we attend especially with Host Club after school, plus the King was sure to throw a melodramatic tantrum and Kyoya was sure to flash his glasses ominously. I shivered at the thought of an angry Shadow King and an overreacting Tamaki. However, I could see how tired Hikaru was. He'd looked sickly recently, which was weird as we were always sick together.

"I'll stay too." It seemed like the most logical answer. School would be boring without him, even with Haruhi around.

"No, you go. I'm just going to sleep all day." I pouted in his general direction though it was for naught since he was still shielding his eyes from the light.

"Hey Hikaru… are you okay?" I asked tentatively, brushing an especially rebellious piece of hair out of his face. I turned my full attention to him, leaning my head next to his on the mattress. He turned and uncovered one eye, to look at me. A small but genuine smile brushed his features.

"I'm alright, Kaoru. I'm just really tired." He smiled and reached out one hand to entangle his fingers with mine. I looked at our linked hands that fit perfectly together and smiled. He was smiling too, something he hadn't done very much of recently.

I sighed and stood, still keeping our hands locked. "Fine. I'll be back right after school." He nodded and sat up, releasing my hand to wrap his arms, the ones identical to mine, around my waist. He leaned his head against my waist and I threaded a hand through his hair, something I knew made him feel better.

He released me, a small smile still on his lips. "See you later Kaoru. Have fun at school," this he said with the corner of his mouth lifted in a slight smirk, "Miss you." And he was dead serious. I'd miss him too. It was rare that we went anywhere separately.

"Bye brother." I said and moved to leave the room as he crawled under our orange and blue stripped sheets. I closed the door gently behind me and headed out.

I moved down the steps still worried about Hikaru. I slid on my shoes at the door and walked out to the car alone for the first time in a long time. I couldn't help but to bite my lip as I stared out at the window.

Lately, Hikaru had seemed pained, like breathing was torture for him. His skin was becoming more pallid and his eyes more drawn. Raw emotions with no explanation flittered across his eyes at times where it would seem like they had no place. No one else was seeing it, I'd asked. But of course everyone else would say that I would be the first to notice. _Bzzzzt_. My phone, already set for vibrate for school, went off in my back pocket. I slid it open to see I had a new message.

_Miss you already. Going back to sleep. Love you 3 Hika_

I smiled at the message. I hadn't been gone from the house more than fifteen minutes and he missed me. I sent back a quick message, telling him I loved him, missed him, and goodnight. I arrived at school and stepped out alone for the first time in a long time.

I kept to myself, wishing I had Hikaru with me. Some people outright stared as I walked by, making nervousness edge across my skin. Their eyes seemed to seer into my skin without Hikaru there. I'd never minded it before, but with him gone I knew they were staring at me in curiosity, and some in suspicion. I made it halfway through the day without breaking down, and met up with Haruhi.

"Hey Kaoru." She nodded a hello. She looked at me curiously before asking, "Where's Hikaru?" She looked around as she expected him to be somewhere near. I shook my head.

"He's not here. He was feeling sick." I answered with a shrug, trying to pretend like being here at school alone wasn't torture. Like being away from my brother didn't hurt a lot more than it probably should. I needed him. My skin felt like it was sinking in and I felt like I would break out in cold sweats any moment.

Haruhi tilted her head, question written in her chocolate brown eyes. "Why are you here?"

I scrunched up my face. "Well, because it's school…?"

"So?" She asked, obviously confused. "You guys are always absent together, whether just one of you is sick or not. Why aren't you home with him?"

"Geez Haruhi," I started, beginning to deflect, "if you don't want me here I'll go home." I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away pouting.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I was just wondering. Is Hikaru doing alright?"

"I think so. He just seemed really worn out." I worried my bottom lip and shifted my eyes to the side, thinking of how pale he'd looked and the black circles under his golden eyes. It looked like someone was torturing him and he was just taking it.

Class began and people continued to stare and whisper. Everyone was oh so curious where my other half was. I'd heard all kinds of whispered speculation.

He was dead. He was hospitalized. He was seriously ill. He'd run off with some hot model. He'd been kidnapped. He was hiding from the mafia. He'd been hit by a car. He'd finally ran his mouth too far.

I was hearing them now. All I really wanted to hear was Hikaru's voice. My hand shot up into the air. I couldn't take being in this room without my brother within view.

"Yes, Mr. Hitachiin? Do you have an answer?" The teacher asked.

"Noooo, but may I be excused to use the restroom?" I asked politely and giving my best Hitachiin grin.

The teacher rolled her eyes and waved a hand at me dismissively. I stood and swiftly left the classroom, once again feeling eyes burning into my skin. I made my way to an empty bathroom and took out my cell phone. I sat on the window sill and looked out at one of the the school's courtyards as I pressed speed dial number one and called him. I looked at the phone for a minute and felt sort of pathetic. I couldn't make it through a single day without seeing Hikaru.

It was disconcerting to think that I could miss his smile, or his smirk, his beautiful eyes, and his laugh this much, that I could miss being close to him this badly.

"Uh-hello?" His voice came out thick and husky. Nerves danced across my arms and I shook them out, annoyed.

"Hi." I said simply, smile plainly evident in my voice.

He paused, and I heard him yawn. "Kao? Are you okay?" He asked, voice still husky. The nerves between my shoulder blades danced and I rolled my shoulders to make the odd feeling go away.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I paused and worried my bottom lip. "I know this'll sound weird but, well, I just wanted to hear your voice." I said simply, knowing he'd understand.

He cleared his throat. His voice came out thick again but clearer. "I missed you too."

I smiled. "How're you feelin'? Any better?" I hoped he was doing okay. If only for selfish reasons I wanted him to be good enough to go to school tomorrow.

"Yeah." His smile was evident through the phone, and hearing his made mine go larger.

"I miss you a lot. Everyone's been staring at me. And coming up with ridiculous reasons why you aren't here." I rolled my eyes at the though.

Hikaru laughed. "I'm sorry. I miss you too!"

I leaned my head against the window frame, body entirely relaxed now that I'd been talking to Hika. "No you don't. You've been sleeping."

"Hey! Maybe I missed you so much I dreamt of you." He defended quickly. I could imagine the way his eyebrows looked, raised high, pretending offense.

"Yeah, and did you?" I asked teasingly.

"Uh-huh!" He answered positively.

"I don't believe you. What happened in the dream?" I heard him swallow. A slow breeze came in through the cracked open window.

"You were in it, I swear," and I could tell he was telling the truth. "But I don't remember what happened," and I could tell he was lying. I raised an eyebrow but decided to leave well enough alone.

"Yeah yeah. Hika, it's so boring it's like torture without you." I whined crossing my arms over my chest and holding the phone with my shoulder.

"I know, I know. I'll see you when ya get home though." As he responded I heard the bathroom door open. Another student eyed me oddly before making his way into a stall. I sighed and looked at how long I'd been gone. Too long.

"Well, I've got to go back to class before Hooker Heels kills me."

"Alright, bye bye Kao. See you later, okay?"

"Mhmm. Bye Hika." I clicked the phone shut. I made my way back into class without the death penalty and then throughout the rest of the day.

Walking through the halls after class I spotted Haruhi. "Haaaruuhii!" I called out to her and she turned around.

"Haruhi," I said once I'd caught up to her.

"Hey Kaoru." She responded simply, making her way towards the Third Music Room.

"Can you tell Kyouya I won't be at Host Club today?" I begged, giving my best pouty face.

She shivered, and I could tell she was thinking darkly of the Shadow King's reaction. "Why do I have to tell him?"

"Pleaaase? He'll kill me, and I don't want to face his wrath." I explained.

She sighed. "Fine."

"Thanks!" I said as I waved her off and went off to the limo. I got in and the driver took off towards the Hitachiin manor. Today had been simply torturous. I couldn't explain why. I mean, I knew it would be awfully boring without Hikaru and I would be lonely, but to feel so utterly lost and alone was odd. It felt like part of my soul was gone, and I missed it more than anything I'd ever missed. It really was torture to not be able to share knowing glances, the light meaningless touches, the banter. It felt worse than it should have, and I didn't know why.

* * *

I'm not sure I'm happy with this chapter? Are you? Please do tell whether you enjoyed it or hated it.


	6. Authors Note

Allo guys.

So I know it's been about... two? [my perception of passing time is god awful] months since I wrote a chapter in _Golden._ And I'm pretty sorry about that. But the next chapters are very critical. The thing is, I have not yet decided how the story will end. I clearly know what will happen either way, but I don't know which way to do it.

So I'm asking you.  
If you want me to write another chapter, click my name, go to my profile, and vote in the poll for which way you want the story to end.  
Don't leave a review about your choice. I don't want my review count to get big for no reason. I figure if I get reviews I should deserve them.

_**I Will Not Write Another Chapter Until AT LEAST 30 People Have Voted.**_  
I'm dead Serious. Don't rely on 30 other people, do it yourself. Please. I want to give you more, but I'm resolute on this one.__

With All My Available Love,

H.S.

-P.S. Sorry if you got excited about this being a new chapter. I know I hate when that happens.


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